Butt Crack For A Face

I don’t understand these profile pictures of cleavage. You’ve focused so much on your cleavage that you’ve cropped out a good portion of your face. This says a few things to me.

1. I HAVE BOOBS!
Yes, we’re very proud of you and this accomplishment

2. You want attention
Well….this is facebook, after all. I mean…

3. You’re sending a very clear message to all the single fellas out there
Message received. Call me old fashioned, but I believe a relationship should begin on the basis of personalities, likes and dislikes, etc. Unless your intentions are one night stands, then of course personality really doesn’t matter.

But really, come on. Facebook is on the internet and if anyone wants to see boobs on the internet I would imagine it’s quite easily found. Your boobs are no more special than the 14 skillion other images found online. Unless you happen to have a third nipple or something. I would consider that special.

Guys, you’re not off the hook. You’re just as bad. When your profile picture is nothing more than a barrage of your perfect, well maintained muscles, this too sends a very clear message to all the single gals out there:

“I don’t have time for you because I’m too busy measuring my biceps and working on my pectorals.”

It says your arrogant and spend all your free time at the gym, chugging power protein shakes for all meals, naturally. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with bragging a little about all your hard work. You should be proud of yourself to maintain a routine and achieving a goal. Just don’t make it your entire facebook page. With that said, ladies, you did nothing to achieve your breasts other than happen to wind up with a nice blender of DNA. At least the Gym Guys worked for their redundant profile pictures.

Look, all I’m saying is that instead of posting a picture of your boobs pressed together (which looks like an ass crack when you remove your face, by the way) or that weird ugly vein popping out of your arm, looking as if it might burst at any moment and deflate you, post a picture that says something about YOU.
Unless of course, you’re just looking for a one night stand. By all means, post away.

The picture below is a meme I created and actually used as my own profile picture on Facebook.  It was extra funny because everyone KNEW that was obviously not my own boobs.  (they actually belong to actress Kat Dennings)

I have boobs

 

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