“If Shawn goes first, I’m not dating. That’s it for me. I’m done.” I said this to a friend of mine who responded with, “Aww, that’s so sweet!”
Here’s the thing. Dating looks like a big hassle. Why would I want to do that? I watch what these young people go through today. There’s a lot of crazies out there. I don’t like going out, I don’t want to go out. I don’t care much for meeting new people and who’s to say I’d enjoy the company of anyone else? I might be annoyed for two hours because I’m too polite to bluntly say, “Life is too short to waste another hour with your boring, go-no-where stories.”
I’ll be just fine. I have dogs! Look, Shawn and I have been together 20 years as I write this. You don’t get that after a couple of dates. We know each other. We know each other’s stories and families and history. I don’t want to invest that much work and time in another person. You can’t recreate that.
Shawn and I actually never had a first date. We met when I was 14 and he was 16 and neither of us was driving so we just hung out. We talked and shared. We played Magic the Gathering, Warhammer, video games. Nerd stuff.
First Date, you’re taking away time I could be spending with my dogs, playing and getting exercise and enjoying myself. They make me laugh and they don’t ask much of me. I’m OK to die with my animals. I’ll not be alone and they don’t require me to apply deoderant on Sunday. Hopefully my body will provide them nourishment if someone doesn’t find me for a couple days. If it’s in the summer, though, eat fast. This is Texas and things spoil quickly here in the summer.
It’s not possible to have what I have with Shawn with any other human being. And I’m totally OK with that. So if he goes first, yeah, that’s it for my “dating life”.
After all, I’ve never gotten in a screaming match with my dogs so perhaps I can handle it after the first year.
Maybe it seems strange that I’ve given this some thought. We all die. It’s a part of every human life. I like to mentally prepare for all worst case scenarios. On the road, I’ve tried to train my brain that if a car is suddenly coming at me over the hill, I will veer right. Better to hit a tree. The tree is standing still just minding it’s own business. I might survive.
Same with loved ones. I mentally prep myself for the worst, which is possible. Shawn doesn’t take care of his body so I’ll likely outlive him unless a large tree comes at me on the highway. Either scenario is likely.
I see nothing wrong with living the later part of life with creatures who love me unconditionally. Also, dating looks like a big chore to me and I’d rather spend that part of my life doing what I love. And I love playing with dogs.