This Story is Neither Interesting Nor Funny. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: My mom said, while genuinely laughing out loud, “I’m afraid to read sometimes! I never know what you’re going to write about!”

Well, I take that as a great compliment. I talk about poop briefly near the end. You’ve been warned.

Working out is hard. Well duh. It’s supposed to be. After too many years of blue collar work, my knees are shot but not nearly as bad as some. Follow that with years of driving up to five hours per day, my back is started to ache. Add to that very bad posture, a habit I developed at the age of nine when my boobs started to come in. I was ashamed and embarrassed so I slouched to hide them.

I’m not in terrible shape but for a 37 year old, I could do better. I learned about DDP Yoga through The Joe Rogan Experience podcast. Former pro wrestler, Diamond Dallas Page had a funky back, weak knees and all sorts of things wrong in his body after abusing it in the ring. So he developed this yoga after trying to heal his own body.

I watched the video with Arthur, the former paratrooper of Desert Storm. His body was broken, his back worn from too many jumps. He could barely walk. He was overweight and doctors told him he’d never walk again without support. After using DDP Yoga, Arthur had lost a ton of weight and was not only walking unsupported, but running at the end of the video.

For my Mom’s birthday, I ordered three different sets of the yoga. Rebuild is a three disc set that is good for anyone bedridden, wheelchair bound, with bad back or weak knees and uses yoga with chairs for balance and support. Just so you know, I began on disc two of Rebuild. I walk just fine but my range of mobility is limited and my knees shake when using stairs.

I also purchased DDP Yoga and DDP Extreme. I’m just starting out so I’ll let you know about those in a very long time from now. Another thing that intrigued me is that years ago, Dallas said you would never catch him doing yoga. So he designed this program for like minded folks. I’m not into hippie yoga but I’d like to straighten my posture.

My mom is physically a mess and my hope was that this was the affordable miracle I’ve been looking for. Arthur was in much worse shape. Dallas had wrecked discs in his back. I think Mom is missing two discs, just bone on bone in there, same as Dallas. I promised Mom I’d do it as many days per week as I could and we’d check in daily to keep each other accountable.

I was actually going to start a few days ago but I got the nastiest cold. So I started tonight. I really just started on the instructional at the beginning of Stand Force. This is a knee strengthening work out and I’m just learning the proper positions, breathing and whatnot.

I wasn’t expecting much but after 30 minuets my heart rate was up and I was sweaty. There may be actually something to this jazz after all.

I’ve back slidden terribly. On April 2, 2018 I started the Keto diet. Basically you eat mostly meat, greens, dairy and berries only. The lack of carbs force your body into ketosis, ie, using stored fat for energy instead of carbs.

It’s hard. It’s really, really difficult. I can usually do really well for two weeks, one week and I fall off the wagon for a day or several days. And I’ve gained weight. I did the Atkins diet when I was 20, eating ONLY meat and I lost 30 or 40 pounds while working a cashier job and playing video games during every spare moment.

This is my biggest issue. I’ve always had a love hate relationship with food. All these months I’ve been careful not to keep certain things in the house. Depression, illness, anxiety, whatever it is will crop up and it’s a very easy excuse to use.

DDP recommends getting off sugar, gluten and dairy (from cow’s milk) to begin with. All these things cause inflammation and inflammation causes pain. I can’t live without cheese, man. I’m trying to cut back on cheese. I keep very few packaged foods in the house. Packaged foods are your worst enemy! There’s soy in EVERYTHING! Soy is terrible when not in extreme moderation. No, no. I’ve learned too much about soy!

I’m fine eating the same things over and over, it never bores me. As long as I can eat fat and cheese, I don’t crave that other stuff (when in a proper mental state). I eat a crap ton of eggs because they cook quickly. One pan, done! In the summer I was eating 2 or 3 bags of spinach each week, switching to zuchinni during winter months.

However, inevitably, something screws up in my head and I fall of the healthy wagon. I don’t care what people think of my body. I want to feel good. I want to have energy.  I want to have that healthy state of mind that healthy people talk about! I made a decision. I will try harder. I stuffed the freezer with fish and zuchinii (I hate most green veggies). I started DDP Yoga today. I promised my pit bull we’d play harder and go for walks during nice weather. Although the last time I “walked” Matilda, she forced me to run until I felt like I had to poop. We hurried home and I hit the toilet pretty hard.

I gotta ween myself off the cheese. I’ve never eaten so much cheese in my life! I tell myself it’s OK since I’m not eating any of the bad stuff. I put cheese on EVERYTHING. Eggs, beef, meatballs (even cream cheese), I eat cheese almost daily. And I am pretty sure this is the reason for my bathroom issues.

My running joke is that I’ve been constipated since my mother put me on solid foods. For real. When I was 14, my dad rushed me to the ER thinking my appendix was bursting. Nope. Just a backed up colon.  Awesome.

Anyway, since I started Keto, I go nearly every day and it’s usually about 20 minuets after I eat. And it’s not pretty. It’s like a fire hose. I haven’t farted in months. At least not on purpose. I’m so terrified I’ll have an accident! Don’t worry, I have a story on that forthcoming. I’ve considered eliminating cheese and see it causes me to poop normally (what’s that?) but I don’t know if I can do it without physically harming myself. I need cheese in my life! At least for now.

I used to be so hard on myself when I screwed up. I basically bullied myself. You are so weak. You can’t undo this. Why can’t you just eat clean? What is wrong with you?

I’m a little easier on myself these days. OK, you screwed up. Tomorrow is a new day. We’ll start again.

Hooray for Tomorrows.

I have not received any payment for recommending DDP Yoga.  I’m just now checking it out.

http://www.ddpyoga.com

Dallas spent $3 million getting this out there.  It’s worth a look.  He gets his kicks by helping people.  See Arthur’s transformation using the link below.

DDP-Yoga-Workshops-2016

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